All morning I have had somewhere around 3 different blogs pop into my head, however, I can't seem to get them going. Writers block. How this is even coming together is beyond me, but then again, if I can't explain, then we know why it is.
Ever had writers block but in your own life? Ever been at a fork in the road? You know, where two paths are laid before you each going in a different direction? The kicker is when you don't know which way to go. I use the word kicker on purpose to downplay it, but in reality, it's rough. Having what seem to be two equally good paths before you and just not knowing which way to go.
On both roads you can see God's fingerprints mapping out your steps, however, you really have no clue which way to go? My advice to you, I don't know. I honestly don't know what to tell you and I say honestly because, seriously, I don't know. A lot of us have met the forks in the road on more than one occasion. Some of us have made decisions we initially thought were the best for us, only to find out they were anything but that. Others of us have made decisions thinking it was the pinnacle of what we wanted, only to find it was but a stepping stone that God used to get you where He wanted you.
Looking back at my life I am starting to see God's hand in places that at the time I never noticed. To think that God was so loving that even in my rebellion He was working in my favor, this blows my mind and just overwhelms me to point of tears. I look back to a year ago and how far away I was from God, I look to the kind of person I was and look at the things that mattered to me then. I can't explain it. He did it. (Coincidently, my iPhone is playing Glory to God right now... =])
A year ago I had just as many decisions to make as I have today. Most of them weren't the wisest, however, that doesn't mean He isn't going to use them. Do I wish I hadn't made those mistakes, let's be honest, who doesn't wish they could go back and alter their past. However, knowing what I know now, I'm not sure I would go back. As strange as it sounds, while those moments were painful, they were also necessary. Necessary because it was those broken moments, those dark, helpless moments, that God used to bring me to Him. The real question for me then is "Why were they necessary?"
Why God? Why would I have to go through that just to find You? At my desk at this very moment, I have the following verses written down, all taken from a sermon I heard about 5 months ago on God's plans and our plans:
Proverbs 16: 2 All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, But the LORD weighs the spirits. 3 Commit your works to the LORD, And your thoughts will be established. 4 The LORD has made all for Himself, Yes, even the wicked for the day of doom. 9 A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.
Gen 50:20 But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.
All this stuff wasn't necessary because it's how you come to salvation, no, I could have done that at any given moment with a simple prayer from my heart. These things were necessary because I made them necessary. See we tend to at times overcomplicate certain situations. Through massive amounts of overthinking and contemplation, we can easily take any simple decision and make it seem like that last question the SAT that will make or break your score.
God will always use our decisions at the end of the day for His glory. I am a walking testament of it. Every decision (mistake) I made in my life prior to coming to true repentence He used. How? Because it is my story, it is my Gomer moments that show the rest of the world how even a rebellious fool who mentally knew, yet rejected the cross, could be saved.
I don't normally do this until I finish, however, I am going to re-read this to see if it makes sense at all or if I'm completely crazy...makes some sense to me I guess lol. Let's continue.
Understand that sometimes, the decision isn't clear. Understand that sometimes God doesn't write it in the sky, because if He did, then there wouldn't be much faith to it. Sometimes He doesn't make it crystal clear because then we would be living by sight. What we have to remember is to seek His counsel and to seek the counsel of godly people (just a few, not the whole church) and then pray until we feel the tug, then go. And go knowing that no matter the outcome, He has you, no matter the result, He is going to use it to further His kingdom and to benefit you. Just keep in mind that sometimes His definition of benefit is different from ours, and sometimes we may see it initially as harmful, however, rest assured, it is for our benefit. He didn't promise we would understand His ways (Isa 55:8), but He did tell us He was about us (look to the cross for proof).
"God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain." C.S. Lewis
Do I wish I could go back and change the past, yes. I wish I could go back and make myself then who I am today. But I can't, and to sit and wish I could is a waste. Instead I'll use my past. It'll be a constant reminder to me of just how much God loves. In those moments I get puffed with pride, those moments will be what bring me back to earth. Ever felt like you were born on third base, some of us in these moments think we actually hit a triple. Don't ever think that the place your in you got in because of your knowledge, your way with words, your above average looks. Never forget that the only reason you are even awake today is because He sustained you the night before (Psalm 3:5).
I am not giving you a free ride to go out and make every decision known to man and abuse His grace, that isn't what this about. This is about helping us all understand that our Father is working our favor, and while sometimes we won't have the clear answer, we will always have our unchanging God with us.
The more we think about Him using our decisions for His glory, the more we should want to make double sure that the decision we make is the best decision we have to offer. So at the end of the day, I don't know what you should do, but I do know what my God will do, and that's work for our good (Rom 8:28), but only if we delight ourselves in Him (Psalm 37:4) and seek Him with our whole heart (Jer 29:13). Don't stop at "God works all things for the good" always remember to read "according to His purpose." What's His purpose.....I don't know, I just know it's a good one, and while I wait, I should be about His business...