Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Staying on the Up and Up

It is a liberating feeling knowing you're free of something that haunted you for years. Sometimes we forget what Gal 2:20 says to us. We forget that we are dead to sin and alive in Him. I had an interesting conversation tonight. The best part is that it was brought about as result of the Holy Spirit speaking through me. It was weird, when I shared what was on my heart tonight, it didn't feel like much. I mean I just said what was on my mind, and shared what it was I had gone through in hopes that someone in that room might be moved in some way. Whether they be saved, or rededicated, if I touched one person, my kingdom work was done.

Needless to say, when it rains, it pours and God for some reason, chose to use this filthy wretch to do His bidding tonight. I had some people smiling at me, others high-fiving me, however, it was one person whose words were both confirming and also sprouted spiritual growth. I thought I strayed from the Lord, this guy was all over the place. We spoke for a while about being prodigals and how it is so crazy the way God works. We eventually drifted onto the topic of the devil, that roaring lion (1 Peter 5:8). It is funny, you know he is bad, you know he knows what he is doing, yet we still give in at times, when all we need to do is resist him and he will flee from us (James 4:7)

He is so smart, not to say I enjoy complimenting him, however, I will give him credit, the guy knows what he is doing. He knows a person like me won't smoke pot, or do any type of drug, however, I will doubt, I will worry, and I will become anxious. He is so good at exposing our weakness, and it's these weaknesses we need to recognize and give to God if we are ever to grow. Part of the call to surrender is to give it all, both the life and the things in it. I can give my life to Jesus, however, if I don't give Him my lifestyle, my choices, my actions, my addictions, my emotions, my issues, then I'm like kid who wants his Dad to fix his broken toy, however, I don't want to give my Dad the toy, I would rather him fix it while I hold it. That last analogy came from my accountability partner....OWNED!

Satan makes quick work with our weaknesses. What we need to recognize is when we are weak, then, we are strong (1 Cor 1:27). We need to be ready both in and out of season (2 Tim 4:2). We need to always find comfort in the Lord, knowing full well He will not allow the righteous to fall (Psalm 55:22).

I mentioned to a friend that I was thinking about blogging on my favorite book from the bible. Now, I have too. God placed this book on my heart and attached to it a heavy weight so that it might sink into the very depths of my heart and soul and penetrate the very being that I am. Once or twice a week, I'll blog on a verse from James. This book is amazing. Pastor Pedro calls it the Proverbs of the New Testament. The book is 5 small chapters, however, I doubt you can sit and read it in one sitting. Sure you'll get through the words, but the message is so heavy and convicting, that you'll spend more time praying and taking notes and less time reading. James is so cut and dry, to the point, no horse play.

Why not kick it off with one I already mentioned, James 4:7 - Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

This is a two part verse. See, sure we can resist the devil, however, we can't do it alone. Part of being able to resist the devil is recognizing that apart from God, we can do nothing. Without Him in our lives, all we are is fish in a barrel and the devil is standing above the barrel with a shotgun.

Once we have submitted ourselves to God, then that's where we can resist the devil. Pray against him, declare yourself free of sin. Dead to sin, alive to Christ. Justified in Christ. A new creation. He has no power over us. Sin has lost its power, death has lost its sting. We are no longer slaves to sin, so why give in? Why allow this idiot of a devil, the great deceiver, such power? The only person who should have that kind of power to control us is God.

So submit fully to the Lord, then punch the devil in the face with the Sword. GET OWNED SATAN!

Extra fun: Romans 6:14-19, Psalm 55

Monday, February 22, 2010

The house of all this doubt and insecurity...

It was dark when I got up. I didn't realize where I was. There was absolutely no light. I was trapped. Where was I and how did I end up in here? I tried remembering what the last thing I had done was. I couldn't. I had realized that I had been in here all my life. Alone, cold and with no one. There were points in my life when I could see just outside, but I could never get the whole picture. I could never really make any progress. It was as if everytime I got a shot of light, my own hands would cover the holes.

It was quiet when he came. I was alone. That is the best time to strike. We have strength in numbers and he knew that. He patiently waited for me to get comfortable, then before I knew it I was in cell I had built. My silence and inability to cry out let him build my cell. Silence built the jail I sat in and Loneliness fortified it. I was trapped in my own thoughts.

What then? What was left? So I began to dig, trying in my own power to get out from under it. I continued digging, began creating another wall, this one made of my own effort. My effort, while fervent was insufficient and as a result, this insufficiency became my doom. I had nothing. I was stuck. It was where I remained for some time. It was familiar to me, because it wasn't the first time, but it definitely was the worst time. How could I have been so foolish? I grew up, knowing full well this would happen to me, knowing full well how to get out, and yet I just stood there, like a fool and built my own cell. I had had enough of it. I wanted out, but sometimes, those moments when we are so deep in trouble, are tools. Tools that humble us, and remind us just how feeble we are alone. But God....

I realized where it was I was, and what I had done. I realized that I alone couldn't break down the walls. But He could. I cried and yelled, screamed and punched. I Cried out desperately, but it wasn't until I admitted my faults and fell to my knees and whispered the words from my heart that He heard me. His hand appeared from the top of my mountain of failure. He grabbed me and pulled me up from the hole I had made. He made quick work of the walls I had built. I stood as He began to destroy every barrier and every wall I had built. He tore them all down. Together we ran, but I was weak. My body couldn't handle the run. I turned to Him and admitted my weakness. He showed me His strength as He picked me up and carried me on His back. He had saved me, and I owed my life to Him. I told Him I would stop at nothing to make sure what He wanted from me was done. I gave Him my life, signed over my rights to Him.

Have I looked back? Oh plenty of times. In fact I spend more time then I should worrying about my motives, meanings, and myself. In reality, my feelings ought to be disregarded, my self should be thrown out, and my motives should only be tested against what He has already told me. The worst is when I feel as if God doesn't speak to me or use me. It is dirty feeling, feeling as if you don't belong among those you call friends just because you don't feel God using you or speaking to you. You feel forgotten and in a sense, not fit to be a Christian.

Yesterday I was reminded that surrendering to God isn't a feeling, it is a sincere action. I'll forgo my thoughts, my doubts, my worries, and just focus on Him, even if it kills me. The sweetest part of the above feeling is when He speaks to you, then it means more. He knows me so well that He purposely lines things up in such a way that it caters to me and my way of thinking. I read this the other night on accident (I did one of those open the bible, God speak to me things).

Isaiah 44

21 "Remember these things, O Jacob,
for you are my servant, O Israel.
I have made you, you are my servant;
O Israel, I will not forget you.

22 I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,
your sins like the morning mist.
Return to me,
for I have redeemed you."

Still, it wasn't enough for me. Doubting Thomas needed to touch the holes. Let me just day, the last 24 hours have been amazing. It was confirmation day for me yesterday, and He would not stop. He knew that Doubting Thomas needed to touch, see and feel it. He hasn't stopped since yesterday, just this morning He laid down a spiritual bomb. Check it out on my facebook.

I am Doubting Thomas. I am the man in the jail cell. I am also happy to report that I am the man who, through His grace, broke free, and is about ready to get up and dance in His love.

I was housing all that doubt, and insecurity, and I'd been locked inside that house, all the while You held the key....Thanks

Friday, February 19, 2010

Less is more...

I had this whole thing planned out. I was going to post this epic thing on being more a doer and less of a hearer (James 1:22-24) and I had this whole side story that had to do with a friend of mine whose outlook on God is one in his own mind, where he decides what to do and not do based on the belief that the bible is incorrect due to the fact that man translated it, but honestly, that would be me. That is what I, Chris Sierra, wanted to do. Sure God was punching me in the face with the idea of applying what I was hearing and taking to heart, however, why sit and blog on me? When I created this blog, my profile said specifically that this blog would be about the person whose name is mine to the T. So why post something I want to post on, instead, I'll post on what He has on my heart right now.

To start, I will apologize for giving it a week before posting. My mind has gone through a whole mess of thoughts and prayers this past week, but God has been moving swiftly in my life, removing the bad and chipping away at the years of barriers I put up to protect myself from Him (I worked so hard so desperately in an attempt to create space). Let me just say, when He wants your devotion, He'll get it from you. You will be so dissatisfied with life that you'll have no choice but to fall face first into Him. Now I see God moving through me and I see Him using me in ways I never even knew possible. He has put so much on my heart and I am just so willing to jump in and go. It's like nothing is going to stop me. Full speed ahead.

We studied something real cool last night at College Group. It was Matthew Chapter 8, but my mind has been stuck on verses 1-4. It is a simple little story of a leper being healed by Jesus, however, how this man approached the Lord is remarkable. I can only hope that I can show the same level of humility and faithfulness that this man showed. He, covered in leprosy, went to Jesus and worshipped Him, then proceeded to say Lord, if you are WILLING, heal me. Not Lord, Heal me now. If you are WILLING...can you imagine that? Having something so horrible, something you would think God would take from you, however, you are so humble and so in the reality that EVERYTHING is within His will that you are willing to accept a yes and a no from God, even if its means being diseased for your life.

We see the same thing with Paul when he asks God to remove the thorn in His side. Yes God, in his infinite wisdom, knew that by leaving that thorn, Paul would forever remain humble. Sometimes it is tough to accept, but God may leave something in our lives because He knows that in the long run, it will benefit us more spiritually. My old high school chaplain always painted this sweet picture of God. Consider us in a boat on this river we call life. Some parts of the river are rough, some calm. Sometimes there are so many different directions to turn, so many choices, and all we want is to make the choice that best suits us. Now imagine God sitting on a mountain that oversees the river. He sees every turn, every rough spot, every waterfall, every rock, everything. Why wouldn't we listen to Him. HE KNOWS BEST! He sees the picture we sometimes fail to see, more often than not if you ask me...

Remember when Jesus asked God in the garden the night he was arrested to "take this cup from me?" Imagine if God would have granted Jesus His prayer, you and I along with the rest of mankind would be in some major trouble. But God (there's the two words again) knew what He was doing.

This all reflects back on what James tells us, to be doers, not just hearers. It is like getting a PhD and not ever getting a job in that field. It is a waste, an existence not worth living for. But that is where God steps in and owns our hearts and just uses us in ways we didn't think possible. Let me just say, He answers prayer, blesses us with what He knows we needs, and if we allow Him, continues to work in us and use us for His ultimate purpose. I have to say I am way excited to see what He has for me. In a matter of 2 months He has given me an awesome new family, an awesome outlook on life, and what looks to be an awesome heart to serve...and serve him I will...

It is simple math really, He > me, or you could say I =/= worthy, or my favorite God - Me = the way it should be. The less of me I allow, the more room there is for Him, and let me just say, I want as little of me as possible, leaves for plenty of Him...math owns

In other news I totally splurged and the little kid in me bought the ultimate pack of nostalgia. I have in my possession a regular nintendo (NES) and over 30 games. I went crazy on eBay and decided to feed the inner child by buying back my childhood on eBay......God is owning my life and I have an can't get sweeter.

And before I even think about the trials to come, I'll keep this in mind...

James 1:2-4:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Crayons can melt on me for all I care....

Time....we waste so much of it. How many hours a day do we waste in traffic? How many minutes an hour do we waste day dreaming? How much time in a day do we spend seeking His face? In today's world, "time is of the essence." What is that supposed to mean? We hear it all the time on TV and video games, but what does this mean exactly? Here is the dictionary definition for it:

A phrase in a contract that means that performance by one party at or within the period specified in the contract is necessary to enable that party to require performance by the other party.

I read a devotional today on the go, which was ironic because of the subject matter in this devotional. The devotional was specifically looking at Jesus and how He was sure to always tap into His power source for energy, for assurance, for thanksgiving, for everything. Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who walked on earth and was the only person to have ever lived to be perfect, would make it a daily necessity to seek His Father in prayer. If we read the gospels, we see that this Man had no time! He was constantly going from town to town, person to person, healing, rebuking, casting out demons, turning water to wine, you name it. Yet in His schedule, which was busier than ours will ever be, He found time to seek His Father. “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed” (Mark 1:35). “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed” (Luke 5:16).

The irony was that when I read the devo, I was in a rush. I was late to class because I wasted time at home laying in bed doing nothing. There I sat, in a hurry and telling myself I had no time do read my devotional and it was all about making time for the most important thing we need to be doing. Imagine going a week without wouldn't make it three days according to some studies. We make time to drink water and eat food, yet we sometimes forget to make time for a sip of the living water.

If Jesus had a schedule filled with things to do, yet found time to seek His source of power, then we have no excuse when we put off prayer. Prayer is a powerful tool. With prayer, if you seek God and His will, He will answer. May not always be what we want to hear, but He'll answer. We just need to take the time to ask.

Time is of the essence. When we accepted our Lord and Savior in our hearts, with Him we accepted His call to us. To preach the word to everyone who needs it, to seek His face in all things. It was part of the unbreakable contract we made with Him when we were saved, no clause for losing salvation, no clause for sinning to much, it was an unbreakable, eternally binding decision.

So now take the definition of "time is of the essence" and apply it to your walk. The contract is what I just described, the given time period, your life, the other party, Jesus. He wants to do amazing things for us in our lives, however, we first must seek Him and let Him do His will. When we do that, and we realize that all we really require is Him, then the rest is "meaningless" like Paul says.

So now I'll ask you again, how much time do you waste? When I say waste, I mean time spent not seeking Him. The bible calls us to do all for His glory (1 Cor 10:31). I am so far away from this verse it isn't even funny. We'll never be able to reach the status that Jesus did, He was perfect, however, we can focus on Him and do all we can to be as much like Him as humanly possible, which is hard, so let's rephrase that, Do all we can to be as much like Him as SPIRITUALLY possible....because my humanity is a prison, and it is what keeps me from being who He wants me to be....

Crayons can melt on me for all I care, because with each tick of time, I'll be ticking away for Him, and I don't care how hott the wax gets, hotter is the fire that burns in me....

Thursday, February 11, 2010

I am Understood?

And through the times I've faded and You've outlined me again....

Tonight I went to the CCk College and Career group, let me just say this to you now, YOU SHOULD GO! Their, that was my pitch.

Tonight as we discussed Matthew 7:1-23, something hit me. Maybe it was God convicting me, maybe it was my own doubt, but something slammed me in the face with guilt. At one point, I felt as if I wasn't a christian, as if everything I had lived for my whole life was gone in an instant. It was at that point that I realized I was living in the wrong frame of mind.

Yesterday we had a teaching on idols, and while I was quick to point out idols within myself, I was also quick to forget just how serious it was. I was quickly reminded. As we spoke on verses 21-23 and looked at how even those who cry out Lord Lord, would not be allowed into the kingdom of heaven, I froze. I said to myself "Will that be me? Am I one of those who now cries Lord Lord and will eventually fail?" I began to question myself, I questioned where it was my heart was and what were my motives for being? All my life I have struggled with this. Being a person with anxiety and doubt, questions like this have plagued me most of my life....but God....

Pedro always says that in the Bible, you have all these horrible things happen, But God.....meaning, But God is always there to pick you up off your feet and lift you higher than you have ever been. It was in that moment sitting there, questioning myself, that I realized what a wretch I was, because at that exact moment, I realized that I sometimes do things for the wrong reason, yet tell myself it is for God.

Reality, there is no reason other than God....period, end of discussion. I don't care how big your ego, or how great your purpose, or how good you think it might be for you...He is it and whatever it is we think we might know, we don't. Sorry if I seem so abrupt, but I guess I am upset at myself for being so selfish at times, to do things for myself, and not give them to God.....we shouldn't question ourselves, nor should we doubt ourselves, rather, we should check ourselves from time to time and always remember to assess ourselves, making sure that our heart is in the right place...

We shouldn't be desensitized to the ideals and morals (or lack thereof) of this world, truth be told, this world is getting sicker and sicker by the day...

We shouldn't take credit for the things he does. I have this friend of mine, best friend really, who I constantly thank for being such an amazing influence in my life and who I honestly thank God everyday for having blessed me with them. Without this person, I sometimes think I would never have made it back to God. Every time I thank them, they are quick to remind me of who I should thank, "After surgery, do you thank the scalpel, or the doctor?" We are just His tools, that is it. God does not exist for us, we exist for God. We are His tools....each with our own purpose...

I started this blog trying to come up with a clever title, however, it isn't until now I realize what the title should be........The answer is yes, the person being asked is God, the question.....I am Understood?

Monday, February 8, 2010

Chapstick and Chapped lips and things like chemistry...

Ok soo......

The past few days have been amazing and not so amazing, however, I choose to see the amazing...
Monday was an awesome day, I tried a new thing me and my accountability buddy from Men's Bible Study are doing, the art of being what a devotional of mine called an "energizer." It is someone who actually takes an interest in others, who makes a conscious decision to jump outside of the "Good morning, how are you? Oh fine thank you," and go for a more "I am doing amazing, how about yourself? Oh just good why good?" God calls us to be lights in this world, to be the salt (Matt 5), now what kind of light would I be if I went around telling people how crappy I was feeling, or how much I didn't want to be moving? Not much light, in fact I might sound like everyone else who is just "fine." So why not break out of the norm? Try something new, I challenge you to say hi tomorrow to someone you don't normally say hi to, and to take a genuine interest in finding out one thing about them. It's actually fun, but more importantly, that person may begin to ask themselves what it is about you that makes you so happy...and that is what I call opportunity!

Tuesday was different, I was told by my boss that she was disappointed in some of my work....which stinks to hear for a person who dedicates himself to doing his best in all things. Aside from that, Tuesday went awesome. I went around the office with my approach from Monday, and man did I get some funky answers, not to mention info about people I would never have known. One guy gave me the sweetest answer. He told me he was doing "swimmingly," which of course turned into a conversation about what that meant. One is doing swimmingly, when he is above the water swimming. A nice metaphor to remind us all that we are all in the water, however, while some of us struggle to stay afloat on our own, others of us (Christians) have the benefit of a lifeboat and some floaties (not to mention floaties to pass around, and did I mention our lifeboat has plenty of room?)

Tonight, Pedro taught on Deut and the people of Israel, specifically on there worship of idols. He really drove home the fact that anything, and I mean anything can be an idol. A job, a person, a game, even ministry itself can be an idol if it isn't God centered. Really it opened my eyes to that old saying you hear many people say about "God being number 1." It is funny, you hear something your whole life, however, never really took it to heart and understood what it really meant. It is like the idea of sanctification. To be sanctified in Christ is to have died to old and be born to the new you. The you that lives his life doing all things to His glory. No seriously, ALL THINGS....I read a devo out of this book (My Utmost for His Highest) that spoke of sanctification and what it meant to be sanctified. To acknowledge that you are reborn, and to deny yourself anything that might hinder your growth in Him. To deny yourself anything that wouldn't be pleasing to him or that would keep you from Him.

On a side note, lately I have been having trouble with chemistry....but I guess that is a story for another post...

Sunday, February 7, 2010

My Trademark....

Stop for a second and think to yourself....."What is my trademark move?" Is there something in your life that comes to mind that defines you; Something that when others think of it, immediately associate you with? For me it is the accounting, the video games, the funny comments, the guy with something to say for everything (though not always good....gotta Bite my Tongue), just to name a few, I am sure (hope) people think other things of me, but what about the bad? What bad thing is your trademark move? Pride? Lust? The feeling of dejection you get whenever you pray and sometimes you focus more on what you are praying for and less on what God wants to give you?

That is my trademark move...guilty as charged...
Yesterday I read something in a devotional a friend of mine emailed me, it went like this:

Every fact that the disciples stated was right; but the inferences they drew from those facts were wrong. Anything that savours of dejection spiritually is always wrong. If depression and oppression visit me, I am to blame; God is not, nor is anyone else. Dejection springs from one of two sources—I have either satisfied a lust or I have not. Lust means—I must have it at once. Spiritual lust makes me demand an answer from God, instead of seeking God Who gives the answer. What have I been trusting God would do? And to-day—the immediate present—is the third day, and He has not done it, therefore I imagine I am justified in being dejected and in blaming God. Whenever the insistence is on the point that God answers prayer, we are off the track. The meaning of prayer is that we get hold of God, not of the answer. It is impossible to be well physically and to be dejected. Dejection is a sign of sickness, and the same thing is true spiritually. Dejection spiritually is wrong, and we are always to blame for it.

We look for visions from heaven, for earthquakes and thunders of God’s power (the fact that we are dejected proves that we do), and we never dream that all the time God is in the commonplace things and people around us. If we will do the duty that lies nearest, we shall see Him. One of the most amazing revelations of God comes when we learn that it is in the commonplace things that the Deity of Jesus Christ is realized. - "The Utmost for His Highest" Oswald Chamber.

It really spoke to me. Ever prayed to God and demanded He answer you? Who are we tell Him to answer us? If anything, we should be thanking Him for even listening to us. I am a wretch without Him, and yet I sometimes am guilty of demanding an answer, rather than seeking Him to give me an answer. We can't focus on the idea that God answers prayer, it has to be what it says in the devotional: "The meaning of prayer is that we get a hold of God, not the answer."

I read a devotional the other day while I was at work about not looking for the burning bush. Sometimes we get so caught up in the idea of signs and meanings behind actions, when sometimes, God doesn't use the giant cloud writing airplane in the sky, sometimes it is just the simplest person, the softest whisper, the faintest cry, that is the guidance and the answer we are looking for.

I am so guilty of it. Of looking for the answer and being so consumed by the answer that sometimes I forget what the question was in the first place. Who am I to demand?

This one hit me today like a ton of spiritual bricks, something I should work on, but something I wanted to share, because I know we all can sometimes get caught up in the wants and needs, that we forget the One...

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Mess of me...

So I guess I should give whoever is reading this some background on me and where it is I came from. My name is Christopher Andrew Sierra, 23 (soon to be 24 on the 24th). I work for an accounting firm on Brickell as a tax accountant. I am currently doing my Executive Masters in Taxation at FIU (Fee$ International University). I attend Calvary Chapel Kendall church. If you don't go, you should go, it rocks, the people rock and Jesus rocks!

So I had a blog a year ago over at Originally I started the thing to just post my opinion on Technology, World news, the president, economics, and taxation. Granted, a year ago I was no where near God like I am now (not that I'm standing next to Him today, I'm still far, but closer than before) so my words may not have always been the best, that and I blogged about worldy stuff and tried to twist God in there, when in reality it should be blogging with Christ in the center and then twist worldly things through the God filter to truly give my opinion some heavenly light.

Surfing the web one night, I came across a friend of mine's blog (hi dasha!.....hi raca :-P) and from there decided that a blog is an awesome way to express myself and express my thoughts. I have been praying about God's direction for some time now and have been asking that he open doors in my life that I normally try to keep closed. In a sense, this blog keeps me accountable and allows me to reflect on where He has me and where I'm going.

The name of the blog comes from a song called "Falling Out" by Relient K. I was listening to the song as I was putting this whole thing together. The song is one of the best (I'll say that about all of RK's songs) and it is a daily reminder to me that "I am out here, way beyond, a shadow of a doubt, and I know I've never fallen out of favor with You." No matter what I do, God will never love me any less, His mercy is amazing, His grace is unreal, and His love is never ending. Without these things, I would be nothing, and I don't deserve them, however, He is amazing!

I ended my previous blog, clearly, and have begun anew here in this one. I was such a mess, however, through His grace, I am no longer what James describes as dead, faith without works. Not to be confused with being saved by works, which doesn't happen, just ask Paul (Eph 2:8), I'm talking about the miserable existence of being a Christian and doing nothing with it.

I am no longer going to be a mess....well I'll try not to be, with His hands on the wheel, I have to trust first, then try...

"I made a mess of me, I want to get back the rest of me, I made a mess of me, I want to spend the rest of my life alive!" - Switchfoot, Mess of Me (Hello Hurricane)

Friday, February 5, 2010

Getting into You....

On my way to work this morning (a drive that can either go really well or really bad) my iPhone in its infinite wisdom played probably one of my favorite songs: "Getting into You" by Relient K, which by the way is my favorite band. I have heard the song for years now, loving it more everytime I hear it, however, this morning I was pensive. Enough to really think about the song and really put to work what it says. Lyrics for those who have never heard it (and shame on you!) :

When I made up my mind
And my heart along with that
To live not for myself
But yet for God, somebody said
Do you know what you are getting yourself into

When I finally ironed out
All of my priorities
And asked God to remove the doubt
That makes me so unsure of these
Things I ask myself, I ask myself
Do you know what you are getting yourself into

I'm getting into you
Because you got to me,
in a way words can't describe
I'm getting into you
Because I've got to be
You're essential to survive
I'm going to love you with my life

When he looked at me and said
I kind of view you as a son
And for a second our eyes met
And I met that with a question
Do you know what you are getting yourself into


I've been a liar and I'll never amount to
The kind of person you deserve to worship you
You say you will not dwell on what I did but rather what I do you say
I love you and that's what you are getting yourself into


He said, I love you and that's what you are getting yourself into

It's the reality for everyone in Christ, but do we really know what we are getting into? I ask myself that when things get interesting. Whether it be school, work, or an activity, usually when it gets real tough, I'll ask myself "what did I get myself into?" Sad to say I have done it with God. The call isn't easy and sometimes I quickly forget what it is I got myself into.

Got into the one on one with Him for all my life; Got into the call to do all things in Him who strengthens me; Got into doing all things for His glory. Imagine doing everything for Him? Easy on paper, impossible in practice, being a human sucks...then again if I were anything else I wouldn't have a soul (not that I need one...such a good song).

I am doubting Thomas. I am the guy who would have asked Jesus to touch his holes. The one who goes some days asking myself if I really mean it or if I think I really mean it. I am also a wonderful image (and I hate to admit it) of the prodigal son. The one who leaves God, runs around in circles in the mud pits of this world, then comes back hoping to use the shower once more (what can I say? It's my Trademark Move).

This time though, I mean business. I hope to set up shop in God's house and get the wheels of my life spinning in the right direction. I know what I got myself into. I got into Him, cuz he got into me, and let me just say if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be where I am today. I grew up Christian. I have what my friend (and teacher of the Growing in Faith classes) Al calls a "vanilla testimony." The nice guy who grew up with Jesus and basically had a normal, nothing crazy life, and accepted Christ not because of drugs or despair, but because it seemed impossible not to.

It is only now that I am beginning to realize that while my testimony is "vanilla" it is vanilla because God made it that way. If God weren't with me all my days, I would probably be moose tracks...the ice cream with everything, and then some...

More to come later....back to work...but not without Relient K! *slaps on headphones*

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Be Still, for I am God I really here? Something like that. So much has changed in the past year that for me to blog about it on a night where I should be studying for a mid-term would be a bad idea. So I'll make it quick for now...

God is amazing.....
Something about an amazing church (CCk)....
Something about an awesome group of people....
Then there is the blessing of having a job.....
Something about have purpose and meaning thanks to the first thing I mentioned....
Weight loss somewhere in there....
Oh and school.... *sigh*...

All in all, I am back and we are definitely changing things around here.....starting with you!
I hope that this blog in some way shape or form opens a door in your life, or creates some kind of joy in your heart, that your life might be in some way better or encouraged after reading it....

Until I find time to actually write....I leave this for you:

"Be still, For I am God..." - Psalm 46:10

"I can finally see that you're right there beside me.
I am not my own, for I have been made new.
Please don't let me go, I desperately need you.
I am not my own, for I have been made new.
Please don't let me go, I desperately need you."

~Owl City